


My Pain is Yours

by TyrusStillLives



Series: Tyrus Bingo 2019 [1]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, But they still love each other, First Kiss, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Soulmate AU, T.J. is a panicked gay, his mother (and the government) is very heteronormative, i guess, so it sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 17:08:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18056636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyrusStillLives/pseuds/TyrusStillLives
Summary: In a world where the government regulates that soulmates of the same gender are not allowed to bond, T.J. faces the bleak reality of life with his same-gendered soulmate.





	My Pain is Yours

T.J. knew from a very young age that the person he was destined to be with was very accident prone. It was incredibly common for him to wake up with a new scar or bruise that he had not done anything to cause.

From a very young age, T.J. desperately wanted to meet his soulmate to protect them from the apparently dangerous world they lived in (although he was beginning to think that the kid just tripped and ran into things that T.J. wouldn’t be able to warn them about).

He felt connected because he felt all of their pain (of which there was a lot) and he knew one day he’d be able to meet them and spend the rest of his life with them. Or that’s what he thought.

—————

By the age of eleven, T.J. had what he thought was his first crush, but it wasn’t on a girl. Jonah Beck was the nicest kid in school. T.J. often fell asleep thinking about his dark hair, bright green eyes, and kind smile. The kids who were lucky enough to have already discovered their soulmates reported similar feelings to his for their opposite gendered loves.

“Mom, does any boy ever get matched with another boy?” T.J. asked. He had begun to realize that he seemed to feel the same way about other boys that he was supposed to feel about girls. It worried him because he’d never seen a couple in the real world comprised of two males.

“Sometimes that happens, hun,” his mom says, hardly looking up from her laptop. “But it’s very rare, and they are not permitted to bond.”

“Why not?” T.J. questioned, “Isn’t their soulmate bond the same as any other?”

“The universe sometimes messes up when it pairs two boys or two girls together.”

“I thought the universe is always right,” T.J. said, growing increasingly 

“It usually is,” his mother responded. “Our government, however, has perfected how to assemble family units, and that does not include same gendered pairs. Even if it’s natural.”

“That’s not fair,” he said.

“You’re too young to understand it now, but you will get it when you get your soul mark.”

—————

It’s the morning of T.J’s fifteenth birthday. The day he receives his soul mark. He still doesn’t get it. Maybe because of the way his heart aches whenever he sees Cyrus’s big, glimmering brown eyes. Or how he zones out sometimes thinking about how soft Cyrus’s lips seem. When the boy smiles, T.J. feels as if he’s being serenaded by a heavenly chorus.

Ever since they met, T.J. had felt a certain butterfly feeling whenever he looked at the boy, but he figured it out when he took Cyrus to his work. T.J. woke up the next day with a bruise on his knee and an aching wrist. Both of the injuries his accident-prone best friend had sustained while learning how to do a somersault.

T.J. groans in his sleep-deprived state. He’s not in a hurry just to see his fears confirmed. Cyrus is his soulmate. He knows without seeing it. As he rolls out of bed, pulls off his shirt, and looks in the mirror, the beautiful cursive writing of the boy’s name seems mocking. The universe saying “here’s the person you are destined to be with” and the government saying “you must live a life of lonliness.”

When he questioned his mom about the subject again she said, “I’m sure you’ll turn out normal.”

The word ‘normal’ burns in his head now as he stares at the lettering over his heart. Cyrus. The boy he loves. The boy he must live without.

T.J. doesn’t know what to do. The writing over his heart is clear as day. Cyrus, as far as he knows, is definitely not a girl’s name. He’s completely screwed. He wants to crawl back into bed and ignore the world, but he hears a knock on the door and the fake cheerful voice of his soulmate. He shrugs on a hoodie just in time to meet Cyrus at his bedroom door.

The boy looks just as terrified as he does. It wasn’t something they had talked about, but he was pretty sure that they both knew they were doomed. Cyrus tries his best to form a forced smile, but his eyes lack the excited glimmer that’s normally paired with his heartwarming joy. His dark hair is disheveled beyond belief, and his shirt is wrinkled. It’s a very un-Cyrus appearance. Although he lacks certain motor-skills making him a disaster, he is always put-together and well-rested. This morning, he seems to be neither of the two.

T.J. still thinks he looks beautiful, which is a heartbreaking thought that he tries to banish from his mind with little success. Cyrus looks expectantly at him.

“So?” Cyrus says, “Who’s your soulmate?”

T.J.’s eyes drop to his feet. “You know who it is,” T.J. says. His voice is glum and sad. Cyrus steps towards him and closes his bedroom door. “This isn’t fair.”

“Can I see it?” Cyrus asks.

Tears well up in T.J.’s eyes as he nods. Cyrus pulls down the neck of T.J.’s hoodie to reveal his own name. Cyrus traces the pad of his pointer finger over the black lettering as T.J. wraps his arm around the boy’s waist.

“It’s so beautiful,” Cyrus says as he solemnly admires the way his name looks in the swooping cursive font.

“So are you,” T.J. responds, before he can stop himself. “That’s why this isn’t fair.”

A single tear runs down T.J.’s face as Cyrus wraps his arms around his neck and buries his face into T.J.’s chest. The soft fabric that smells strongly of T.J. is strangely comforting to him in a somber way.

“I love you so much,” Cyrus says, his voice muffled by T.J.’s chest. “No matter what happens.”

“I love you too,” T.J. chokes out.

The boy looks up at him, and T.J. can’t possibly hold himself back from his heart-aching desire to lean in. Cyrus seems to have the same thought as his eyes flutter shut. The moment their lips connect, T.J. feels a tingling sensation across his chest. This is what his mother described happened when she kissed his dad for the first time. This moment is what begins a lifetime of hiding. Living alone and kissing in private behind closed doors. T.J. will do whatever it takes to spend his life with his favorite person.

“What am I going to tell my mom?”

“Let’s not worry about that right now,” Cyrus says. “Just kiss me.”

Every logical part of T.J. tells him to say no, but he’s past logic with the love of his life staring up at him longingly. T.J. wraps his arms around Cyrus and kisses him as if his life depends on it. He pulls Cyrus as close as they can possibly get, and Cyrus’s hands move from T.J.’s cheeks to the back of his head as he deepens the kiss. Everything feels so right, and T.J. can’t grasp why anyone would want to keep them apart. T.J. wants to stay in this moment for the rest of his life, but he knows what comes next for them. Pain. Longing. Separation. Loneliness. He chooses to ignore the future, and be with Cyrus.

An hour later, T.J. and Cyrus find themselves watching a movie on T.J.’s bed. Cyrus is resting his head on T.J.’s shoulder and T.J. has his arm wrapped securely around Cyrus, his hand playing with the soft hair on Cyrus’s head as the boy drifts into a soft slumber. _One day_ , T.J. thinks, _the world will grow more accepting of this._ It was T.J.’s only hope to make his future bearable.


End file.
